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01/07/2004: "this semester :S"

music: Coheed & Cambria - In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth: 3
mood: Bitchy -- watch out =p

1st: Japanese II ~ Love this class, and this semester I'm planning on doing better.

2nd: Multimedia Presentation ~ I hate Powerpoint, and, well, that's what this class is about. I *know* for sure I'm going to like the people in this class a lot, and most likely make some new friends! And, from what I can tell so far, 'revive' old friends, mainly Carisa and Jason. I'm not that excited about it, but most likely it's just because I've been so anti-social, and I've got a few things to worry about from 9th grade. These 'things' would be... well, nevermind. xD When it (and if) happens, I'll be sure to blog about it. Because I *know* I will bitch at Ivan for it (oops! --- gave a little clue away wink).

3rd: Biology I ~ "You can see her brain up her nose," quote Justin McArthur. LOL This teacher's nose is like 'wow'. Just 'wow'. Ivan and I got front row seats, so she's always towering over us... razz Besides that though, the teacher seems bitchy, but the people in the class are decent.

4th: Literature ~ This teacher has a really good, nice attitude. She's actually a *little* bit normal. (Who can't say Orlando Bloom isn't a good-looking person? Not that I go for celebrities or anything.) As for the people in my class, I'm going to have to keep my eye on Ivan. There's a relatively large group of 'preps', consisting of past people Ivan has made 'evil' comments ('evil' mainly meaning comments I got jealous over) about. I have nothing against those people since they didn't do anything, but I'll still hold it against him if he does/says ONE thing wrong. That means no 'wrong' looks (a.k.a. places he SHOULDN'T be looking!), smiles (I'd have to say these piss me off the most --- and I'm not talking about greeting smiles or whatever), conversations, and his actions toward me (like if I'm holding his hand, and he pulls away when 'one of them' looks or comes by). The little 'actions toward me' happened A LOT today (a lot of pulling away from him, I guess...). I don't exactly get mad about it, it just makes me feel bad about myself. I actually cry inside... ya know, where you get that huge lump in your throat, and you look around a lot and can never make eye contact... rolls eyes But whatever... if that's what he wants, I'll just play along and never act 'like that' again. We can just be friends from then on out and I can find me someone else. I'm just not going to handle bullshit like that anymore... it ruins my day, and I get really stressed over it. And I want to do good this semester, so you can't blame me, right?

The only reason why I'm really 'protective' and not exactly trusting Ivan fully is because of how he 'treated me' as a girlfriend in 9th grade. It was not good. Sure, he was new to it, but shouldn't everyone know that you should watch what you say in front of certain people? Honestly, would HE want to hear me saying how INCREDIBLE SEXY so-and-so is, and that I'm going to hang their half-naked picture on my wall? Or would he want to watch me stare at some guys package, and poke at his penis (under his pants, of course) and giggle about it, and hear me tell him the only reason I'm doing it is because he's our friend and we like to joke around? I would certainly hope not! This whole becoming Carisa and Jason's friend again is already making me paranoid. I don't want it to be like 9th grade ever, ever again! I was so miserable, and I never said anything about it, I just went along with everything said and done. I was so stupid! angry, grr My whole 'watch Ivan' thing is not just for my benefit, but to make him learn something and be a better boyfriend to future girlfriends, and even his wife. I'm just glad they didn't have to go with half of what I did. =\ Thankfully that's all over (well, so I'm hoping)! hehe

TIP: Don't ever fully trust a guy, no matter how close you are. Ivan *still* says some things that piss me off, I just don't say anything because... well, he's a guy. What more can be said?

Annnywaaaayyyy, LOL LOL

As for lunch, it sucked. Well, at least today. I wanted to talk to Ivan, but we obviously sat in the wrong place, and he talked to anyone and everyone but me. He didn't even sit close to me. And when Jason came along to talk, everything Ivan asked/said to me during Jason and I's conversation I pretty much ignored. YES, I IGNORED HIM. Sounds cruel, but you get what you give, no? As I said, I'm not handling any type of bullshit like that anymore. Unfortunatly, though, I got mad at him to where I didn't want to talk... but I ended up being Miss Happy with him. >_> What a crock of crap. angry, grr

Wow, my whole day was about Ivan and his negative issues... o_O Ugh...

I WILL CHANGE THESE EMO'S, BTW. razz

Plugs later~~ I gotta finish me homework~ sleepy cool eh?

PS. Anyone wanna play the Thai Lineage II beta with me? Here's all the steps to make it possible. Btw, try *every* ID you can... I had to.

Replies: 5 flew

on Saturday, January 31st, evilprepkilla said

Ivan's a jerk! LOL

on Wednesday, January 14th, The Man said

Well i'm new to this blog thing but i would like to say as a guy, You really shouldn't trust us. No matter how many times we say that you don't trust us. When we say those things it makes you feel bad which in turn makes us feel bad. But to keep up our masculinity we keep going and we can't let up. And that makes things worse. You should always keep your doubts untill the very end. I'm sorry its like this but its societies fault. Well i hope you understand what i mean by this. And if you ever feel like its going to far then it is and you should write something like this.

*P.S. i want to be a "Shrink" when i get out of college.

on Thursday, January 8th, coftia said

bio rocks!

on Thursday, January 8th, Yeivori said

Never completely trust a guy? Hmm.. It sucks that Ivan does that around the preps.. I've never encountered that problem and likely never will. (I am guilty of completely trusting a guy.. but I don't wish otherwise.)

on Wednesday, January 7th, Kawaii said

WTF your back! Yayness xoxoxoxoxo

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