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A Typed "Web-Journal" Entry
posted 02/24/2004
'Sup, foolz?!? I'm Elijah Wood. Capital E, and then, LIJAHWOOD. I'm goin' this way!!!!!!!
Why watch some other stuff when you could watch The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King?
Breakfast, [lembas bread] lunch, [lembas bread with tomatoes] munch, [lembas bread with batteries + nails] and dinner [curry and fish wearing a bowler hat and cigar].
Put the DVD in your room for secret watching.
Hide it underneath your pillow for sleepytime.
Don'cha like me???
Kids ask for it by name. ("Huh? Who's Frodo?")
'sright kids! Go watch'ya some Lord of the Rings.
Now try the new movie coming out, The Hobbit.
Made by Peter Jacksoooooon.
I'm hobbity! (He's hobbity) I'm wobbity! (He's wobbity) 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Ian McKellan: "I hate that frickin' hobbit."
(This parodies "Meet Marshie!")

~ A Filmed Commercial Advertisement ~
Viggo: "Hello, fallows, I'm......Viggo Mortensen. Have you grown lothe of ordin'ry movies? Has Eurotrip left you out in the cold? Look...lively...in today's go-get-'em lifestyle with Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Each DVD is...stuffed with only the finest Orlando Bloom interviews. Orlando Bloom is...surely the...future of high-quality actors. Peter Jackson wouldn't settle for much less. Add homoerotic puns and suggestive carrots to create a story-tale by Cassandra Claire that will send......yooou..........to the bathroom vomiting."
Cassandra Claire *hugging Viggo*: "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King!"
Viggo: "......That's right, Cassandra Claire. Enjoy Lord of the Rings. Hand-filmed at the set that's in New Zeland."
Song: "Come see Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Hand-filmed at set that's in New Zee-e-land!"
Viggo: "Look lively! Look.............lively."
Ian McKellan: "That Aragorn's going to give the 30's Homestar nightmares."
(This parodies "Mr. Shmallow.")



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